Its 1AM on a Friday morning, and really felt privileged to be enjoying in the comforts of my air-conditioned room, ruminating over stuffs that has been besetting me, and yet has decided that I should be contented with what i have, rather than worrying over issues in the future that has little or no impact to my life now. It has been a short week, but i have this growing urge that i desperately need a breather- a getaway from this fast-paced rhythm of events that has been cannibalizing my vitality and energy day by day.

Edwin was mentioning casually in the armskote about how the slow pace of life in Australia is really pleasing, and it suddenly strikes me what actually causes 2 places, both on the same planet, to be so distinctly different in terms of its overall feel and wellness. How peculiar and amazing is it for an environment to have this 'slower pace of life', when time is an absolute scale, and how one can truly relax and feel at ease in these foreign lands.

Everytime when my doctor ask me to relax and not get so tensed, I will always be left scratching my head, telling myself that its impossible for me to feel genuinely relaxed unless I get out of this war zone of 20 years, and take a breather in some serene corner of the planet, where I can relish the experience of feeling relaxed.

I want to see the other side of the world that I am aware of, but have yet to witness its marvel using my physical senses :)

Its already 24th July and by the time i booked out from camp, it will be the dusk of July when the dust begins to fall slowly on the calender, forming a thin layer of varnish, but yet nothing concrete has been etched on the days of July. I have plans to do something, but it all faints in memory as the law of diminishing intent by Robin Sharma was apt in explaining that people tends to forget about things that they were once hyped up to complete, and as we began to be engulfed in the menacing tsunamis of daily work requirements, such determination were then wiped out and discarded into the archives. On one hand, its rational to think that i should be satisfied that the clock is edging faster than ever towards my version of 'independence day' (3rd Dec), but yet, you know on the other, you felt 'wasted' when tasks pre-planned were going along your way.

The past few days were marked by some experiences which were worth some food for thought. The first is the burning surge of jealously and partial disdain, when i was left scratching my head, questioning myself why am I left to book out on a Saturday morning, and even worst, not able to get my hands to the elusive marksman $200 bucks, though I am confident that I can just get down the tonner and land some rounds on the target, instead of being a non-combatant that has never much been appreciated for supporting training, and always being 'the first in, last out'. That's yet another prominent example of the downsides of being a non-combatant, and being ill-treated, unbeknownst to many; but i have already since been accustomed to such 'unfair' treatment. It's never fair in the first place to begin.

Ex Wallaby: Another week to go which means a step closer to the end to my ultimate decision. And I am still ruminating, whether to go or not to go...

Listening to 严爵 - 好的事情 (电视剧《醉后决定爱上你》片尾曲)

Sunday, July 17, 2011

NS Life.

I always believe that the theory of relativity can help explain the many perplexities of the world, and shall make use of blogging to document my assortment of experiences that reinforces this concept.

Last week was rotation 5 for the Batallion and for me, yes, i ain't going to be a hypocrite here and not going to defend my staunch stand that i wasn't slacking camp; in fact, i am here to confess a joke that we cracked in the midst of all the crazy things we did in Cougar Resort, "For the first time, i am going to announce to the world that i love outfields; the longer the better". LOL, not going to elaborate on the 'crazy things we did', but i got to admit that the last week was indeed one of the best NSF life you can ever ask for, perhaps even outshining the pre-ORD days, looming in the horizon :) Its a classic case of all hell break loose, and people were going wild, flouting the rules, and calling the company line 'home sweet home'. Thats all i will like to pen down here, for fear of inviting unnecessary flaming and accusations back in camp. Haha.

I still remember during my nascent days as a non-combatant, I was floored by the demanding rigour of the office job and was indeed feeling regretful of my decision back then. The despondent feeling was further compounded when you realized all your other mates, a company worth of combatants, were resting up in bunks for the whole day, while you were pouring through thick stacks of documentations and files in preparation for 4NTM duties. Sometimes when you take a breather outside the office, you take a sneak peek up to your elusive bunks only to realise a handful of them walking by their corridors, complaining of insomnia because they have too much rest.

Furthermore, as part of a decoy to 'deter' people from down pes-ing, office personnels were grounded literally in the office from 730am until 8-9pm, before its time for Roll Call (RO) and the combat fits geared in admin and PT will start streaming down from their bunks, preparing to hit the gym or play some sports, after a complete day of recuperation in their immaculate nests. When you wanted to join your mates in some games, you realise that that you were too lethargic to even climb up the stairs for a good bathe and long night sleep. You start to question yourself, "why do i even want to end up in this predicament in the first place?".

Those were what i label as shitty days of the past, and though some details maybe exaggerated, some epiphanies i have written were indeed what i felt when i was on the other side of the grass, only to realise that the grass back at your side maybe greener. Its also what i firmly believe as the theory of relativity - i will only feel that indignant because the combatants were resting in bunks while i was laboring in the office/armskote. And similarly to put it bluntly, the main reason why i can only feel so shiok and liberated is because the rest were out in the fields. Yes, the theory of relativity is just a euphemism for building one's happiness on top of others' sorrow.

Relativity has helped shed light on the different kind of feelings i experience over the course of my NS journey. It also also helped shape my perspective towards the many perfunctory accusations of 'slack and relax', against many parties. At the end of day, life is never fair and we can never stop comparing, because while my NS life last week was considered slack, i am very confident that there were definitely some other NSF who was reveling and basking in his own little workspace, or even in the comforts of his own house, enjoying his time more than me. (This belief is backed by my own understanding of NSFs, who are living examples of people touring through their 2 years).

The word 'slack' is subjective and relative, and there is never a fix list of descriptions that aptly sums up the word slack, even when you based in on a similar context of National Service. In fact, this rule applies to all adjectives...

"LIFE IS NEVER FAIR - THERE ARE 5 ORANGES, I TAKE 3, YOU TAKE 2.... AND I SAY ITS FAIR" - From the wise words of CO 40 SAR.

Oh yes, my latest love: Badminton.

Saturday, July 16, 2011

Life.

Of

ECONS, MONEY, SHOPPING, PHOTOGRAPHY, BADMINTON, GUITAR, FOOD, FAMILY.

i am a satisfied boy :)))

Sunday, July 10, 2011

Rotate X 5

I should be fretting over the next arduous 4 days, but yet, i have chosen to dismiss all these worries and instead, relax over the impending week. Yes, i have chosen this path to experience my customized 6-months non-combat tour to understand workings behind the scenes and thereby appreciating the need for support services even in this mammoth organisation called SAF, that is perceived to be one large army of soldiers, preparing to sacrifice their lives out in the daunting combat fields. While i may put across as someone who is really that crude to ditch my mates and severe all bonds forged over the past 1 year of training, in reality, the thought of holding all my plans back and not jumping on the bandwagon to down pes, despite already clutching the triumphant memo letter from my specialist, really did came across my mind. In fact, it has haunted me for weeks before i made that sacred decision.

Unbeknownst to many, it was really hard to get the words, "Yes sir, i decided to continue to down pes" out of my gasping lungs during the PC interview, and its really bemusing what exactly is the fetter that held me back, when down pes has always been something what i want to achieve.

Even up to this moment, though i have never regretted making that monumental decision, I can never forget those faithful nights i spend ruminating over the issue of leaving the combat fields. While you guys will be out chionging for this 4d3n Rotation 5, marking it the last Singapore outfield of our 2 years service, I can safely assure you that though i have gave up the chance to be with you guys physically, my heart has never ditched this group of treasured comrades.

And many times, it really pains me when I overhead murmuring and sarcastic remarks buzzing behind my backs, albeit not with any ill-intention. I have expected these waves of opprobrium to come, but not from the few of you. It really reflects poorly of your character and maturity.

Listening to 萧敬腾 - 复制人 (its really good :)

Friday, July 8, 2011

Fill It Up.

Its the dawn of July, which also spells time to start filling the cup that appears to be half empty/half full.

Hahah crappy post.. but really do look forward to some rest soon. it has been a physically and mentally exhausting week in camp for me, and really appreciate the early breather that my 'specialist' has granted me. haaha quite a couple of things have been clogging up my memory bank recently but shall dedicate those to other more in-depth posts. The past few months have just flown past unknowingly and maybe i should start coming up with more concrete plans for the month of July, especially when my 'non-combat tour' is coming to an end soon...

*If you are not in favor with the course of events, its not your prerogative to adhere to it and *suck thumb* (the 'wise words' passed down by previous generations of NSFs). I believe that every single individual has the clout to effect a positive change for the betterment of their own lives, even though what it takes may be a monumental effort to overcome the over-powering tide. Its all the hands of the beholder - fight for your own right :)

Sunday, July 3, 2011

Time with yourself.

I just came across a Facebook update that popped right in front of my face (a realization that i bemoan increasingly as I realised that facebook isn't really an ideal way of social networking as it literally pushes new updates up your live news feed just like how someone forces food down your esophagus. And even though food can be healthy and nutritious to the body, consuming copious amounts is going to be choking and deadly. And apparently, thats also one of the root cause why facebook manage to succeed because it provides a platform that collate all the news pertaining to your 'friends', another term which i am increasingly cynical of especially when we get alot of information from this group of people that we disparage, making it a collage of interesting relevant news, in relative to mainstream news, that pleases the eyes and strikes a chord with our heartstrings.) And that also explain why i am more inclined to visiting people's blogs, a corner of the virtual world that is created and maintained meticulously by owners, and reading information that i am keen to find out more, rather than being engulfed by facebook updates, which i believed has became the new mainstream news.

Alright enough of my usual musings and the facebook update i was referring earlier goes like that...

Confession: i spent 2/3 of the weekend alone by myself.

Haha and although i didnt post it up as my facebook status update, i have decided to write it here that indeed, i have spent my weekend, not exactly alone by myself, but in the comforts of my couch, away from the buzzing outside world. Rather than calling it a confession, I am rather honest to say that such plans to dedicate this weekend, the first of the month of July, to myself has been rather fruitful and accomplishing. Sometimes, when you are mired in perpetual commitments to meetup with friends, to attend meetings and have casual dinners with long-lost friends, its always good for you to take a step back from the demands of day-to-day activities and recuperate while coming up with the blueprint for the upcoming month. And resting for the past 2 days, not doing anything lethargic that consumes all your energy, gives me ample time and space to sort out undone business while spending quality time with my closed ones, whom i realised i have began to distance amidst all my commitments.

And thats what i learnt about the power of self-renewal- the technique to strategically time block and dedicate quite time for rest, recovery and rejuvenation :) [From The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari- Robin Sharma]

Some random facts about by past few days...

1. Alot of people have been asking me if i had been forced to cut recruit hairstyle by CSM... LOL

-- A long story that i have repeated throughout the whole Friday when i went back to camp, and i shan't reveal much here but you get the idea, my hair is really freaking short after i attempted a $2.40 haircut at Clementi (the long queue one) and its going to be one of the greatest regrets of the week. HAHA, it turned out to be really quite flabergasting after i put on my specs, and perhaps thats also explain the reason why i refrain from heading out unnecessarily. Back to recruit again... crap.

2. My specs gave way.

-- My specs turned into 2 while i was conversing with Yu Zhong on the bus back from camp, and perhaps thats how specatacles can be damaged for a non-combatant... while catting on the bus

-.-

Alright so thats all for this update, and its time to report back to camp for yet another 5 days of service after my long getaway! Cheers!!!

Listening to 林宥嘉- 想自由

speakers' corner